I wanted to freak out over something else, but I realized no one would understand. So..
Update:
I went to a Khutbah (religious sermon). It scared the crap out of me.
So basically, every sin you commit puts a little, miniscule black spot on your heart. But the more you commit the same sins, the bigger the original spots become. Say you've told a lie in your life, BAM. Spot. Say you've lied again, it just keeps growing. But then if you've hurt another person, BAM, spot. And if you hurt again, it just keeps growing. The part that scares me is that the spots over lap. The blackness keeps growing over your heart, and you develope layers.
It gets worse. When your entire heart turns black, you start thinking the sins aren't "that bad". As in, yeah, my religious book says it's totally against every rule, but...it's not "that bad".
When your entire body has turned black from the inside, you start thinking it's absolutely fine. No problem. A-OK.
Now i know this is supposed to be metaphorical. But effff, it scared me. It scared me so so so badly. I started freaking out. I got home and broke it off with Colgate.
...But we're still best friends. Who hug and say "I love you" -- But that's it. Nothing more. What so ever. BLUHHGG.
No more badass me.
Just me...and my boy best friend. Colgate and I are decidedly best friends. Nothing else. Yeah.
~~~
My sister's leaving in less than two weeks. I've resorted in spending all my time with her as possible. I wish I could follow her around the city, but that'd just be creepy. And I have to seem like it's no bid deal, because the truth is -It's the biggest deal ever. But being emotional and sappy about it isn't going ot change the fact that she's going to Law school.
YAAAY, SHE'S SUCCESSFUL. AND HAPPY. AND FREE.
Way to be, sister. I will miss you like a mofo, but way to be-awesome. I love you. x a million.
~~~
I'm kinda sorta obsessed with Dexter, this tv show.
Basically this guy was found at a crime scene at age three, and was addopted by the police officer who found him. He grows up wanting to kill people. Like, legit, wanting to murder them. But the police officer notices these tendencies, and teaches him "The Code Of Harry" (Harry = popo). Now dexter, all grown up, is a serial killer. Cept he only kills the bad guys, the guys who deserve it.
It's super witty, and really compelling. I may make it sound screwed up - because it is - but it's actually super brilliant. check it out, I JUST finished the season 1 final and my mind was BLOWN.
