Why Have Children?

Rant: I don't get the point of having children.

Scientifically people argue that it has everything to do with reproduction and keeping the human race populated. May I just call bullshit on that? Total and utter bullshit?

Autophobia - the fear of being unloved. It's a selfish way to ensure that you never feel unwanted. I mean, a baby can't NOT love it's mother, it's too young and stupid to make these kind of decisions.

It's narcissism at its best. Oh look, she has her eyes, she has his nose. Basically an excuse to marvel over how great your features look on another human.

Why would you trade posh restaurants and sanity for running noses and ruined dresses? expensive perfumes made into "potions"? I know I'm being materialistic, but maybe having kids is actually the extremist opposite of materialism, and that people just don't see that because they forget to use condoms too often.

People think fisting (supermanthathoe! - Soulja Boy) is supposedly vial and painful. Well yes, Something round as a fist is not supposed to go up that passage. But a baby? Are you kidding? I can't even imagine how terribly painful it would be to have my area down there stretched open and out pops a living breathing .. being. For lack of better words, I'll use Jacob Davenports: Imagine pushing a grapefruit through your anus. Imagine it taking ten hours. Imagine that after ten hours of trying to push a grapefruit through your anus and failing that doctors cut a big hole in your belly to remove the grapefruit. Don’t believe anyone who says that they forget all about it in a few months.

Yeah. Exactly.
No worries, I cringed too.

Not to mention the whole, bringing.another.soul.up.to.be.a.decent.human. having kids is deciding to be responsible for the life of another, very malleable, person.
Responsibilities include but are not limited to making sure they don't grow up to be:
-a violent nine year old pushing other kids off the seesaw,
-a drug abusing class skipping vandalizing teenager or
-a sex addicted money spending uncaring 20 something,
-an uneducated thirty year old crack whore
-a forty year old pedophile who hides behind his computer screen luring children with intentions to corrupt their innocence.

That's so much responsibility. The worst part is, parents are so gosh darn in love with their offspring that they couldn't exile the kid or send him or her to a psychopathic facility. And would probably end up letting that forty year old creeper live in their basement because it's "my little boy".

I don't like the idea of so much Autophobia, Narcissism, Physical Pain, and hardcore Responsibility to make sure one thing doesn't get killed (God Forbid) or turn into a total nutter.

If you applied all these to a partner, THE ENTIRE WORLD would say you're in an abusive relationship. But babies are different right? They're not aware that their inflicting this kind of control over one person.

... But we are on an unconscious level, completely and extensively aware of what poping a little one out of there will do to us physically emotionally and mentally.

Oh well, I guess the entire female population is at some degree masochistic. I know I'm still having kids, though I haven't a clue why.