Procrastinating. Exams start Tomorrow.

Funny Realities

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

4) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes a man feel really manly.

5) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

6) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

7) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

8) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

9) You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.

10) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

11) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.




One Liners

a) If it isn’t broken, fix it till it is.
b) In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
c) I always wanted to be a procrastinator, i just never got around to it
d) I tease about drugs a lot, but in reality I take them seriously.
e) I am fit . I am in shape. Round is a shape.
f) Practice safe eating — always use condiments.
g) Friends are the people who stab you in the front.
h) Accidents don’t just happen! they must be carelessly planned.
i) I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
j) Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
k) An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience.
l) People who think they know everything are the easiest to fool.
m) Time is what keeps everything from happening to us all at once.
n) Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.